Category: Reflections

If he pushed me first? If they were rude, or yelled at me? If she posted something unfair? If I didn’t begin the conflict, why should I be the one to take a step back? He started it! # # # “Good questions. What’s the fear?” “What fear? I’m not afraid of anything!” “Then why […]

What do you believe? Okay, you belong in that bucket over there. With them. Where do you live? Oh, you’re one of those. Education level? Oh dear, you go over there. You’re an addict? Okay, not too sure about that. Homeless? Well, uh, er, … We all do it to one extent or another. As an […]

“You have to decide in advance.” The guys sitting around the circle looked confused so I let it sit for a few moments. Finally one guy asked, “How can you do that? How can you decide in advance when you don’t know what’s gonna happen?” “What do the rest of you think?” Quiet…the kind of […]

Would you agree that there’s more to good driving than “not running into stuff”? As a kid I developed the really bad driving habit of staring at oncoming traffic. Makes sense, right? Oncoming traffic is the biggest danger, so why wouldn’t you watch it carefully? The problem, of course, is that you tend to steer […]

Somewhere along the line I learned to worry. I got really good at it, and as a young adult the notion of NOT worrying about stuff seemed really odd. In fact, I worried when I wasn’t worried. When I finally figured it out, I realized that I somehow equated not worrying with not caring. In […]

Yesterday I talked about a circle of unconditional respect. I love this simple notion, which I owe to my friend Eric Larsen. Here’s how I described it to my students. When you step into the blue circle you agree to acknowledge the basic human dignity of every other person. Since you agree to stay in the circle, you […]

Should students respect their teachers? Of course they should. Over at Bouncing Back today I explained why everyone, as a child of God, ought to be treated with dignity and respect. So what if it doesn’t happen? What if others fail to treat you respectfully? As a teacher, I quickly surrendered the notion that my position would […]

Love confuses. If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.(Romans 20:20) Love confuses those who only know how to draw lines and fight. They may react, initially, with anger, hate, or resentment, but the bitterness is […]

So how do we stop otherizng? Bad news–we likely won’t. Stop, that is. Otherizing is pretty ingrained in how we deal with the world, and I suspect none of us is going to simply give it up. Good news–we can make progress. We can increase awareness. We can work at perceiving, and at least blurring, […]

I’ve noticed lately how much of our conversation is about “them.” If you pay attention, our discourse is immersed in a sea of “otherizing.” Over at Bouncing Back today I defined otherizing as the process of discerning and accentuating differences between people so it’s apparent one group is clearly not like us–they’re the “others.” Homeless folks […]

I heard some folks discussing the upcoming movie SELMA yesterday. I’m anxious to see the movie. I hope it’ll contribute in a positive way to the current national dialogue. The discussion drifted to the danger faced by those who marched. One person wondered, “Where did Dr. King and his followers find the courage to continue […]

What’s the baby in the manger trying to tell me? I keep looking at the scene surrounding His birth. I’m wondering what it means for me right now, trying to figure out what I’m supposed to learn while I wait. # # # Don’t cling to your life. When you empty yourself, you discover your […]