You and I live in lots of circles.
We’re part of families, neighborhoods, and churches. We have circles at work and with friends. I’m thinking about different ways of expanding and working with those circles. I want to serve people; too often I end up trying to please them.
Pleasing people and serving people look the same on the outside.
We’re helping, sacrificing, doing stuff to benefit others. On the outside, pleasing and serving look like the right thing.
People-pleasing, though, is about fear of rejection, fear of not getting to sit at the popular kids’ table. It’s about insecurity, never being sure where we stand, constantly comparing on some undefined, ever-changing scale.
Serving flows from love which drives out fear. It’s about humility, prioritizing others and thinking less about ourselves. Serving means sacrifice with “no strings attached,” not caring about status or recognition or ROI.
People-pleasing wears us down. It’s tough to carry the burden of persistent anxiety and worry, always looking over our shoulders, never quite knowing if they’ll approve.
Jesus invites us to follow His example, to surrender concern about power and position.
Of course I want people to like me – you probably do as well. But, to paraphrase a quote often (and likely incorrectly) attributed to Abraham Lincoln: You can please some of the people all of the time, you can please all of the people some of the time, but you cannot please all of the people all of the time.
Let’s encourage and serve without lugging around the impossible weight of people-pleasing.