Overwhelmed

I probably use “overwhelmed” too often to describe how I feel.

I’m busy, occasionally frazzled, and sometimes I get depressed about it because that’s the nature of living with clinical depression. Once in a while I let it all get to me more than it needs to.

“Overwhelmed” implies more than you can handle. That’s how I felt on Saturday as I looked at the community gathered around FREEDOM TOUR CLASSIC 2024.

Overwhelmed by gratitude, for sure. But also overwhelmed because I couldn’t help wondering, “Who am I to think I can lead something like this?”

200 cyclists, 60-70 volunteers. Might not sound like a lot, but I looked at them and felt completely, totally in over my head.

And then I sort of chuckled, remembering the number of times I’ve felt this way along this journey. Times I was certain someone would rip off the mask and reveal the imposter pretending he knew what he was doing.

And every time I’ve heard Jesus whispering, “You know you’re not the one doing this, right?”

I keep forgetting. I keep thinking it’s Him following me and carrying my stuff. I’m grateful that He just sort of smiles and doesn’t take me too seriously when I get things backwards.

He continues to lead, allowing me to stumble along until occasionally I get it right. I think He smiles each time I remember He holds this thing in His hands.

Do I still feel overwhelmed? Yeah, and I’ll bet you do too, sometimes, because we don’t have this following thing figured out. We still want to be in charge, even though we know better.

So, we can be overwhelmed by grace that gives us 2^nd and 3^rd and 999^th chances to begin again.