“We can choose to be kind…rather than right.”
Very cool guidance from an expert on dementia care – when dealing with someone who struggles to remember, we can give up our right to be right and choose kindness instead. We frequently tend to forget that elderly people who struggle to remember details because of dementia may be the source of their stubbornness or hastiness. However, it is important to keep in mind that they are dealing with the majority of the issues on their own and maybe constantly battling in their minds to keep track of what is going on around them. Many of them may be living in assisted living facilities because they require constant attention. That is why it is always necessary to consider other people’s situations when conversing with them.
Makes perfect sense. If someone simply can’t get it right, what’s the point of correcting him? Maybe, though, there’s wisdom here beyond memory issues.
As I move into a new year, this seems like a pretty good focus. Teacher-me is always ready to debate, to ask how you got your result, to look for and expose flaws in your thinking. I wonder…when do I seek to help, and when do I just want to win?
Facts, logic, discussion, allow us to learn and grow and refine our ideas. Healthy debate can be a good thing, a way to advance the cause. But…
I don’t have a right to be right.
I do, however, have an obligation to be kind, to fill my space with grace. Kindness doesn’t connote agreement. Or weakness. Kindness means knowing when it’s wiser to let just it go.
Always needing to be right is a heavy, unnecessary burden to lug around. Always judging, looking for flaws, pouncing on every weakness. And perhaps the most frequent victim is the guy in the mirror.
I don’t really do resolutions. But I want to be more aware in 2019 of times when I can choose to be kind…rather then right.
Join me?