I’m having a tough time feeling thankful.
Details aren’t important, and honestly it’s hard to admit because tomorrow’s THE BIG DAY and I’m surrounded by blessings I don’t deserve and we’re supposed to be thankful. What in the world is wrong with me…how can I possibly not be thankful?
Wait…I never said I’m not thankful. I said I don’t *feel* thankful.
Not the same thing.
Becky’s at her dad’s farm this week. Whenever I’m there I think of all those mornings he probably didn’t feel like going out in freezing, snowy fields to feed and care for cattle. Or the sweltering afternoons he must have felt like sitting in the shade rather than tending to the thousands of never-ending chores.
Farmers think long-term. They don’t give in to how they feel right now because growing crops and raising cows happens over time. Farmers learn that life’s the sum of small things done correctly every single day, actions that don’t seem to have immediate consequences but that add up, drip-drip-drip, to something solid.
Gratitude, I think, is sort of like that. It’s easy when it’s all great to feel thankful and go all gushy telling God about it. And it’s easy to tell someone else you’re thankful when they do something you wanted them to do.
Maybe gratitude is more like farming, a choice to be there each day even when you don’t feel like it. Maybe it’s doing your best to say thank-you consistently, regardless of immediate circumstance.
THE BIG DAY isn’t about false once-a-year thankfulness, it’s more of a reminder to stop and look at a bigger picture, at something beyond right now. It’s a reminder to say thank-you…regardless.
Jesus seeks an honest relationship, and it’s okay to talk to Him about sadness, disappointment, grief. It’s also okay, in the midst of the struggle, to say thank-you. That’s not being fake.
It’s just faith.