Half-full? Half-empty?
The answer is supposed to reveal one’s level of optimism. If I answered honestly, based on how I feel, most of the time I’d offer a third option.
Half-empty…and leaking.
Chronic depression distorts the lens through which I, and lots of others, view the world. My feelings tell me to interpret most circumstances from this sort of draining, pessimistic perspective.
For much of my life I thought this was normal, until a wise therapist helped me understand the disease caused by a brain chemistry issue. Pete showed me the source of my persistent negative worldview. I learned to challenge my innate conviction that the half-empty glass had sprung a leak.
I also learned that chronic depression doesn’t disappear. I can adapt, but the dark feelings persist. So initially I decided to do my best to avoid difficult situations. I figured the best way to stay positive was to close my eyes to anything negative.
But God had other ideas.
I thought I wanted to ride a handcycle. BUT GOD planted and nurtured this crazy, impossible dream of doing a cross-country ride.
I thought I wanted to just do a 1500-mile bike ride, BUT GOD showed me that I had a story to share, a story that would have meaning for and be helpful to a lot of people. I wasn’t a public speaker, BUT GOD showed me that sharing my story is enough.
We didn’t intend to do fundraising, BUT GOD connected us with Convoy of Hope. At the end of our ride people had generously donated more than $60,000 to feed hungry kids.
We thought that ride was a one-time thing, BUT GOD nudged us in another direction, toward a bunch of other rides and now to the FREEDOM TOUR.
If I’m completely honest, through the lens of depression the whole notion of kids and human trafficking doesn’t *feel* all that hopeful to me. The problem’s too big, I can’t make a difference, I’m wasting my time. Nobody really cares what I do anyway, right? Maybe you share some of those feelings.
BUT GOD says we don’t have to believe everything we feel.
I thought the glass would always be leaking, that there’d never be enough, that life would always be about insufficiency and injustice.
BUT GOD said I could cling to hope and trust Him to keep His promises. He said there’d always be a good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over.
You and I are often pretty sure about things.
BUT GOD…