About Doubt

I’m not sure about doubt.

I used to feel guilty about doubt. Now I understand that doubt and faith dance together. I just wish I could figure out my doubts.

I’ve been asked often whether my injury, and lack of subsequent healing, caused me to “doubt God.” I never came close to thinking He didn’t exist, but I agree with C.S. Lewis:

Not that I am (I think) in much danger of ceasing to believe in God. The real danger is of coming to believe such dreadful things about Him. The conclusion I dread is not “So there’s no God after all,” but “So this is what God’s really like. Deceive yourself no longer.”

The problem, for me, is how to reconcile what I believe about God’s character and power with the injustice of struggle and suffering He allows.

Honestly, I’ve pretty much resolved this issue related to myself and my injury. My doubts these days arise when I look around me.

• Thousands of innocent refugees flee violence and abuse, often to be stranded in camps with deplorable, even more dangerous conditions.
• Modern-day genocides persist unabated.
• Slavery and human trafficking exist at levels unprecedented in human history.
• People around the world and in the U.S. still fight for basic equality, dignity, and human rights.

I see this sort of injustice on such a massive scale, and I wonder. Where is God? What’s He up to? What am I missing?

I know the theology, the right answers. But I’m not sure those answers do much to relieve the ache in my gut. Again, C.S. Lewis:

We are not necessarily doubting that God will do the best for us; we are wondering how painful the best will turn out to be.

That’s it, exactly! I believe God loves and does His very best for every single person. It’s tough to reconcile “love” with the incredible injustice experienced by so many.

So, what to do? How do we move forward once we’ve acknowledged our angst? I guess we grab on to the “faith” part of faith and doubt.

For me, that means I get to work on FREEDOM TOUR 2018.

I don’t get why God lets millions of children be victims of sexual slavery, but we can do our part to support two dozen kids at the HOME OF HOPE.

I don’t get why He lets people be lonely, but we can create a community that brings people together around a story bigger than themselves. We can invite folks into a journey of hope and purpose and sacrifice.

Maybe you don’t ride bikes…doesn’t matter. We’re asked only to do what we can, where we are, with what we have.

He’s God. I’m not.

I’m still not sure about doubt. But I believe.

That’s enough.