An Empathy Check

“Too often we enjoy the comfort of opinion without the discomfort of thought.” John F. Kennedy

Perhaps it’s time for an empathy check.

On the last night of the FREEDOM TOUR several members of our team gathered around a flickering campfire. After a week together, in that setting, barriers tend to disappear. The discussion drifted to the diversity of our relatively small team.

In the circle sat a man born in India, a woman born in Okinawa, and a man born in the Congo. We also had a native Iowan, a guy from Michigan who claimed to be Dutch, and a man who had to be carried over rough terrain because he couldn’t walk.

In a serious moment we talked about times we’d been singled out because of exterior appearance. We chuckled a bit at the notion that folks might pick on Iowans or Dutch folks. Laugh all you wish, but nobody wants to be categorized.

Nobody wants to be categorized

I love my friend Dick Foth’s suggestion for dealing with categories. When someone asks, “What do you think about those people?” a great response would be, “Which one?”

Police officers ambushed, murdered simply because they wore a uniform.

Black men ambushed, murdered simply because their skin was black.

Do I feel empathy for the police officers and their loved ones, simply because they’re police officers?

Do I feel empathy for the black men and their loved ones, simply because they’re black?

Do I feel more–or less–empathy for one group than for the other, for no reason other than the category to which they belong?

Each of these is an individual, a beloved child of God. If you or I regard any of them simply as members of a category, perhaps it’s time for an empathy check.

What’s an empathy check?

When someone asks, “What do you think about those people?” we respond, “Which one?”

We see individuals. We know every individual has a story and people who love him. We’re willing to invest a bit of ourselves in understanding what the world looks like through her eyes.

Doesn’t mean we agree, but we see a child of God worthy of respect.

We refuse to resort to categories.

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This isn’t about respect for police officers. One can be grateful for law enforcement officers and the important, often dangerous work they do while perceiving and treating them as individuals. The two are not mutually exclusive.

BLACK LIVES MATTER isn’t a claim that some lives are more important than others. It’s recognition of the reality that for for hundreds of years in America black lives haven’t mattered. It’s recognition of a difficult, factual, historical injustice.

If you and I can’t set aside our preconceptions and at least enter a conversation about this, if our only reaction is immediate rejection and a retreat to talking points, if we can’t seek to understand another perspective, perhaps it’s time for an empathy check.

Of course Blue Lives Matter. They matter because each police officer is a person, an individual with hopes and dreams and people who love them. They matter because they’ve chosen a path of service.

If you and I can’t believe that, and still consider the notion injustice, the possibility of being singled out because of appearance, perhaps it’s time for an empathy check.

The people around that crackling fire aren’t categories. They’re our friends, our teammates, our fellow travelers on an incredible journey of hope.

If we can’t see them, and every victim of injustice everywhere, in the love that existed around that fire, perhaps it’s time for an empathy check.