The Special Needs Guy

On our team, that’s me.

Others make accommodations so I can participate. I’m grateful, though honestly it’s difficult to be the special needs guy. Easier to offer grace than to receive it or worse, have to ask for it.

Each year as the FREEDOM TOUR approaches I wrestle with whether I ought to participate as a cyclist. Selfishly, I love cycling as part of this amazing team. I can’t think of many activities that give me more joy than cranking along with these friends in such glorious surroundings. After so much preparation and anticipation, actually seeing and feeling this dream in the clicking of chains and the whirring of tires brings immeasurable pleasure.

However, it’s a simple fact that when I ride the whole team slows down. I’m training better, faster, and harder than ever, but I just can’t ride at even a moderate pace for able-bodied riders. So–do I indulge my desire to ride and force the team to accommodate and slow down, or do I give up riding for the good of the team?

My participation has certain benefits. I can speak and write more authentically as a member of the cycling team if I ride. This allows me to advocate for the cause and the tour from a participant perspective.

I’m sure there’s an inspirational component to my participation. However, I wonder how much that fades when I cause an extra hour of riding on a hot day. I suspect inspiration might evaporate in the heat of perspiration.

I have a hard time accepting freely offered accommodations. It’s difficult to believe there aren’t hidden strings or unspoken resentments. I find myself wondering what those “free accommodations” might end up costing me.

Perhaps that’s why we struggle so much with grace. Experience teaches us to look for conditions. We’re trained to expect a hidden agenda. We all know a free gift probably isn’t really free.

God says I’m saved by faith because of grace. It’s an accommodation, freely offered.

I accept God’s grace, and I’ll accept the accommodation of my teammates. I’ll cycle the stretches of the tour that make sense, and sit out the climbs.

I’ll do that because our team, like God’s grace, is based on love. We’re not about numbers or speed or even riding bikes.

We’re a community. Even the special needs guy gets included.

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