Words matter.
Anyone who believes Sticks and stones can break my bones but words can never hurt me hasn’t felt the sting of “four eyes” or “cripple” or “retard.” Words matter.
An interesting article popped up in my Facebook feed in the aftermath of last weekend’s Super Bowl game. The title: Peyton Manning Is A Loser And So Are You.
Good headlines attract attention, often by intentionally including shocking or sensationalized phrases. “Peyton Manning Is A Loser” worked for me.
I basically agree with the author’s main thesis, but words matter even when you explain that you really didn’t mean to say what you said. We need to choose carefully, especially when we categorize people.
Peyton Manning (and his teammates) lost a football game. Badly. But that fact in no way makes him a loser.
Peyton Manning is, in any meaningful sense of the word, a winner. He was a winner before the game started, and he was a winner as he walked off the field in defeat.
Michael Jordan, perhaps the greatest basketball player of all time, once said, “I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.”
Everybody loses. Everybody fails. But losing doesn’t make you a loser and failing doesn’t make you a failure. The distinctions between those words are critical.
Julius Erving (Dr J) was asked by a reporter why he believed he was so respected by both teammates and opponents. He replied, “I strive to win with class and lose with grace.”
Erving didn’t say he tried to be a graceful loser. His answer to the question indicated his desire to be a winner—win or lose.
Professional athletes are accustomed to casual labels. Peyton Manning won’t be harmed by being called a loser. But schools, churches, and workplaces are filled with folks who aren’t quite so thick-skinned and don’t always understand that the words shouldn’t define them.
The truth is: Sticks and stones only break bones, but words can break a heart.
Let’s be careful about the words we choose.
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We have this tendency to frame everything as a competition. I believe it leads to self-defeating thoughts and behaviors, because LIFE IS NOT A GAME (click to download a free ebook).
