One common joke among guys of every age is “we’re trying to figure out what we want to be when we grow up.”
The real joke, as any woman will happily tell you, is most of us never actually get to the growing up part. Once in a while I manage to chip away at the edges of this deficiency. Usually it’s completely unintentional, but I take what I can get.
Most of you know our Florida tour was cut about 150 miles short when an infection of unknown origin landed me in a Tallahassee hospital. Personally, I’m sticking to the more glamorous story of a Skunk-Ape Attack.
Of course I was disappointed about being forced to stop short of the goal. After all the preparation and hard work, it wasn’t the ending I envisioned. But my reaction wasn’t what Becky, my close friends, or even I expected.
Once it became apparent that I couldn’t resume the ride, I expected my habitual reactions to disappointment—frustration, anger, resentment, and depression. I’d like to say I worked hard to develop a better attitude and prayed for God’s help in responding more positively. The fact is I didn’t feel well and didn’t have the energy to fight another battle. So I resigned myself to a few days of moping around, feeling sorry for myself, and grumbling at everyone around me.
Except…that’s not what happened.
I won’t claim I was an endless source of sunshine and warmth, but I did experience an unfamiliar level of acceptance and peace. People kept assuring me it wasn’t about the miles, and for some reason I believed them. Instead of disappearing into an abyss of despair because I lost a few miles, I was able to focus on moving forward with our remaining speaking commitments.
I can only attribute this response to God’s Spirit working within me. I know Becky prayed for perspective. I know a big circle of supporters surrounded us with prayers for healing and the ability to continue what really mattered about the tour.
I believe God answered those prayers. I wanted Him to put me back on the bike. As usual, He provided what I needed rather than what I wanted.
This experience affirms what I said here about the chorus from our official theme song.
God is great, but sometimes life ain’t good.
And when I pray, it doesn’t always turn out like I think it should.
But I do it anyway.
The lesson? I think I’m better off talking more to God about what’s going on and spending less time telling Him what I want. Maybe that’s how I make myself available, give Him space, and open my heart to the sort of unanticipated change I experienced.
The ride ended differently than I planned. I found the perspective to understand that a different ending wasn’t a disaster. It’s a small step in the right direction.
I’ll take it.
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How about you? Can you use this experience to take a small step toward peace, acceptance, and perspective in some area of your life?
Please leave a comment here.
