What’s Behind The Complaining?

Sometimes I amaze me.

No matter how many blessings surround me, I can always find something to complain about. Am I the only person with this gift?

This ride is incredible—great weather, wonderful people, an all-around amazing opportunity. I should be counting blessings at every turn. And mostly, I am. But there’s this one little thing.

Speaking opportunities aren’t appearing like I hoped. We’re getting media coverage, so the message of hope is getting out there. But so far the media attention hasn’t translated into speaking invitations.

It’s not that I crave the attention. My story’s not about me anyway. But speaking to groups, especially in churches, is where I can best represent Convoy Of Hope. Those are the opportunities to raise money to support their children’s feeding work. I fear I‘m letting them, and hungry kids, down. I fear we’ll reach the end of the ride and feel like we didn’t leverage our efforts effectively on their behalf.

So, I complain. Don’t they know how important this message is? Don’t they understand that kids’ lives are at stake? Can’t they see how hard I’m working?

Pretty silly, huh?

Who am I to expect churches to fling open their doors because I want them to? What makes me think my desires and expectations should transcend everyone else’s plans? When did I become indispensible?

Maybe…just maybe…God has something else in mind. Maybe I’m supposed to follow and listen. Maybe Convoy Of Hope will be just fine without me. Maybe…

IT’S NOT ABOUT ME!

I think my complaining is a kind of self-righteousness. I’m trying to create my own sense of worth or value. If I work harder and do better, I’ll succeed. I don’t trust God to put us in the right places. I have to make it happen.

Does this ring a bell?

I know better. It’s just that I want so badly for this to work. Even as I write those words, I realize this project doesn’t belong to me. My job is to work like it depends on me, but pray like it depends on God.

Sounds so easy.

It’s not.

# # #

If Wednesday was a grind, Thursday was a cruise. The abbreviated day was just what I needed to recover a bit and allow this cold to work some of itself out. We’re 146 miles into the ride and ready to head toward Orlando. Depending on my stuffy head, I might do two more slightly shorter rides to reach the weekly 200-mile goal.

Becky tracked down a replacement GPS unit. We won’t know for sure until tomorrow morning, but with a bit of luck it should be up and running tomorrow. We’ll see.

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