Where Aren’t You Trying To Go?

Happy Saturday! If you’re new to THE CRAZY QUEST, you may wish to read about it here. Basically, I’m tracing my journey as I attempt to answer the question:

What would you do if you didn’t know you couldn’t do it?

This week of training: 127 miles

WHERE AREN’T YOU TRYING TO GO?

shouldWe’re told all the time about the importance of setting goals.

You have to know where you’re trying to go and what you’re trying to accomplish. As Yogi Berra said, “If you don’t know where you’re going, you might not get there.”

I agree that goals are essential unless you’re content to just drift along with no thought about purpose or direction. THE CRAZY QUEST is certainly oriented toward an ultimate goal as well as some intermediate milestones.

But I’m wondering if it might be important to also be clear about what you’re NOT trying to accomplish.

That might sound strange, but I find that society imposes a lot of expectations and “shoulds” on our activities. Some of these are stated, most are implied, and if you’re not careful you might end up being frustrated about not getting somewhere you never really wanted to go.

This blog, or my writing efforts in general, are a good example. The Internet teems with advice about blogging; what makes a good blog, how to attract traffic, how to get people to link to your blog, and how to increase search engine rankings. It’s all good stuff, until I realize that most of it is built around the assumption that the goal is to generate revenue. Why would someone do all that work, spend all that time, unless they’re ultimately seeking to make money in some way?

By this measure, I should be doing many things differently. I’m missing a lot of opportunities. Except that making money is explicitly NOT one of my goals.

I do sell books, and I publish articles in print magazines that pay small fees, but the income really is inconsequential. Occasionally someone pays me to speak at an event, but mostly I talk to groups that need the money for other things. A career counselor could point out dozens of ways that I could generate income. I get that.

But that’s not what I’m trying to accomplish. I have three goals for my writing and speaking:

  • I want to develop relationships with a circle of like-minded people.
  • I want to help others by sharing my story.
  • I want to learn and grow.

I have nothing against making money. I once heard someone say, “I’m opposed to millionaires, but if someone offered me the position I’d accept.” That’s pretty much my view regarding income from writing. When it happens, great, but I’m not chasing it.

So I don’t use marketing gimmicks to attract readers, and I don’t do “three steps to attract five thousand Twitter followers.” The quality of the circle matters more than its size.

So my list of readers grows much too slowly by any objective measure, but that’s okay. You guys continue to send great feedback, re-tweet my posts, and spread the word to others, and we’ll find the people who need to be here.

I thought of some of the “shoulds” that are imbedded in a lot of our thinking.

  • You should want to make as much money as possible.
  • If you play a game, winning should be the primary objective.
  • You should do anything to look like the models on the magazine covers.
  • You, and your kids, should do anything, including accumulating debt, to have the latest toys, clothes, and gadgets.
  • You should worship God in a specific manner.

I’m sure there are many others. There’s nothing inherently wrong with any of these goals, as long as they’re really what you’re trying to accomplish. But don’t allow advertisers, politicians, or any form of “expert” manipulate you into striving for a goal that’s really not important to you.

Two questions: What are some other “shoulds” you encounter?

What’s a cultural “should” that you’re intentionally not trying to accomplish?

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There’s Only One Way–Just Do It

You Have To Climb The Hills

 

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