The 22 kids at the Home of Hope are victims.
Or they were victims until the folks at Project Rescue removed them from a situation over which they had absolutely no control.
As you might imagine, I get a lot of questions about the notion of being a victim, whether I felt like a victim, etc. I know the precise time and place where I stopped behaving like a 24/7 victim. Strange thing…at the time I didn’t even realize the significance of my actions.
It was March of 1999. After more than a decade of playing victim, some friends convinced me to try handcycling. In a single two-block ride I was transformed from I-can’t-do-this to I-can’t-wait-to-do-this-again.
Before that ride I had a sign on my forehead: Feel Sorry For Me!
After the ride, my sign said: I Need To Figure Out How To Do This Better!
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Seems to me there are two kinds of victims. The first are real, honest-to-goodness factual victims, people or groups who’ve been subject to injustice, hardship, oppression, or mistreatment. The kids at the Home of Hope certainly fall in this category.
The second are I’m-A-Victims. These folks, for any number of reasons, want to be perceived as victims. I’m-A-Victims want sympathy. They want you to know about their plight and they want you to join their fight against their oppressor.
In the decade or so following my injury I was both kind of victim.
Certainly I was, and to some extent still am, the victim of a silly, tragic accident. That’s a real, objective fact.
However, I am (at least most of the time) no longer an I’m-A-Victim. But I played that role for a very long time.
As an I’m-A-Victim, I learned to derive a certain passive-aggressive power by drawing others to my side. However, it was a weak, sick place to live. People got tired of the whining, woe-is-me attitude that characterizes every I’m-A-Victim.
No one really enjoys hanging out with an I’m-A-Victim. And you can be sure no one will choose to follow one, except perhaps another I’m-A-Victim.
So I don’t deny the reality of my injury or its very real consequences. That, to me, would be silly. I simply do my best not to play I’m-A-Victim.
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America is awash in individuals and groups playing the role of I’m-A-Victims. Some even think it’s a leadership strategy. But in the end, people don’t choose to follow weak, passive-aggressive leaders. Whining might get attention, but “they’re picking on me” doesn’t inspire others to achieve big dreams.
True leaders, even if they’re real victims, don’t use their own circumstances to manipulate others into becoming I’m-A-Victims. True leaders inspire others to join a community and commit to a cause bigger than themselves. True leaders inspire movements, they don’t create more victims.
No matter how bombastic they appear, I’m-A-Victims live in fear because deep inside they’re weak.
Jesus said, “Take courage. I AM. Don’t be afraid.”
I’m in. You?
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