Do you like living in fear?
I didn’t think so. I don’t, either. I’m struck recently by how much we accept fear as a normal mode of operation.
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As a beginning teacher I was taught to think of myself as a manager. Students were the workers; my job was to manage their efforts and motivate them in a way that maximized productivity.
Since most motivational strategies involve external factors—grades, test scores, extra-curricular eligibility, honor roles, approval—motivation is almost always coercive. And the foundation of all coercion is some form of fear.
Fear’s a great motivator. Figure out what someone fears and you can get them to do almost anything. If the goal is compliance, whether it involves following rules or performing a skill, coercive management is the way to go.
You can disguise the coercion as so-called “positive motivation.” But all you’re doing is giving someone what they want (or need) as a condition of performance. They comply because they fear not-getting what you have. It’s a great way to train dogs and manipulate people. And I was pretty good at it.
As my career progressed, I realized that compliance wasn’t my goal. Following the rules and learning the skills isn’t the same thing as authentic learning and understanding.
Managing—motivation through fear—is no way to run a classroom, a family, a church, or any organization devoted to helping people discover and achieve their potential.
I realized I didn’t want to be about fear.
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When you let go of managing and manipulating others’ behavior, you enter scary territory. It’s scary because you have to surrender control. That’s especially challenging when you’re responsible for a roomful of eighth graders.
You cast a vision. You say, “This is where I’m going,” and you do your best to inspire, but some people may choose not to follow. That’s got to be okay.
In the end, culture matters more than vision or values, more than words, more than goals or motives.
Seems like a lot of people want to empower others, but they can’t give up control. I don’t think you can have it both ways. Control is about power, and power is, at its core, about some sort of fear. No one can be inspired to be their best self in a culture of fear.
I’m convinced you don’t set people free by creating committees and rules and procedures. You can’t do it when people are so afraid of doing the wrong thing that they hesitate to do anything.
What’s the culture in your family, your workplace, among your friends, in the groups with whom you serve in the community? Is there a climate of freedom in which others are trusted to use their gifts and talents?
Are you building a culture of fear or freedom?
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