An Incredible Blessing

This past weekend I was honored to marry two dear friends. It was one of the highlight experiences of my life.

I had a blast working with my friends to create the service. I thought you might enjoy reading the thoughts I shared with them.

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Once there was a little boy who emerged from Sunday school and told his dad that Jesus attended a wedding and miraculously turned water into wine. “And what did you learn from the story?” asked his father. The boy thought for a moment and answered, “If you’re having a wedding, make sure Jesus is there!”

I think that’s a great idea: We’re having a wedding. Let’s make sure Jesus is here. Please pray with me. And instead of bowing in solitude, how about putting a hand on the shoulder next to you so we can surround Tom and Alycia with a community of prayer?

Father, love is your richest gift to the world. Today we celebrate a beautiful expression of that gift as Alycia and Tom pledge eternal love for each other. We ask your blessing on their marriage, that you will always hold them in your hand. Surround them—and us—with your love, now and always.

In Jesus’ name, Amen.

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Alycia and Tom asked me to talk a bit about these words from the book of Ecclesiastes.

Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor:

If either of them falls down, one can help the other up.
But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.

Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.
But how can one keep warm alone?

Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves.

A cord of three strands is not quickly broken. (Ecclesiastes 4: 9-12)

Two are better than one.

I’m so pleased that you chose a scripture based on math. I’m also pleased that you two have done the math of marriage correctly.

I’ve known Tom for nearly twenty years. Alycia, you haven’t known him quite that long, but we both know he believes real men don’t need directions. And we all know men sometimes take things a bit too literally.

There’s a story about a new bride who arrived home from work one day to the smell of fresh paint. She entered the bedroom and was startled to find her husband slumped against the wall in a pool of sweat. She just had to ask why he was wearing both a down parka and a heavy leather jacket.

“Well, honey, you always ask me to follow directions. Right there on the paint can it says: ‘For best results put on two coats.’”

So two ARE better than one, but it’s important to interpret the words—and do the math—correctly.

I love that neither of you comes here looking for the other to make you whole. Some people come to marriage to get something. They seek what’s missing, hoping their partner will complete them. They seem to think the math of marriage is something like half a person + half a person makes a whole. And of course it doesn’t.

You two arrive at this moment with diverse experiences, individual dreams, distinct talents, and unique spirits. You’ve built interesting lives based on different kinds of service to others.

You’ve come here, not to get, but to give each other the gift of everything that makes you such special individuals. You’ve done the math correctly. Two are better than one, because one plus one actually makes something more than two.

You will not leave this place as separate individuals. You’ll leave in a marriage, a mysterious covenant relationship between the two of you and God. As we’ve talked about the future, neither of you has mentioned what you want to get out of the deal. You’ve always discussed what you can do for each other and building something together that combines your gifts in service to others.

The imagery in the scripture is that of a journey. On this day, you choose to follow the same eternal path. It’s God’s design. From the very beginning He said it wasn’t good for us to travel alone.

So why is it that, on this journey “Two are better than one”? The writer of Ecclesiastes lists a few.

They have a good return for their labor. You’ll travel better, with more joy, because you’ve combined your efforts, gifts, and talents.

You’re headed somewhere you can’t imagine right now. There’ll be highs and lows, but you’re going to experience delight and achieve success you couldn’t discover traveling separately.

If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. You’ll still fall along the way, because that’s how life works. But today you promise you’ll always be there to help each other up.

If two lie down together, they will keep warm. On the journey there’ll be times when you’ll feel cold and scared and lonely, but you’ll never be alone because you’ll be there to warm each other’s spirits in a way no one else can.

And in the safety of that warmth you’ll be free to say the five most important words in any marriage: “I’m sorry” and “I forgive you.”

Though one maybe overpowered, two can defend themselves. Paul writes, “Love always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.” (I Corinthians 13:7-8) On your shared journey you will certainly feel threatened, but by having each others’ backs you will not be threatened.

And finally: A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.

In a society that conspires to pull you apart, God makes a covenant with you today. He’s in the journey with you, and He’ll never leave you alone. You can lean on Him as you lean on one another. And He’ll always have your backs.

My dear friends: please don’t forget that God has a stake in this marriage. Don’t be afraid. He’ll do His part to keep it strong and enduring.

To close—this one’s not in the scripture, but it’s important. Two are better than one because they can share the celebration.

Don’t forget to celebrate along the way. That was your central desire for this day. So let’s go back to the little boy and the story about Jesus and the wedding.

The world is full of needs and problems. There are many important things we should be doing. We talked about this as we prepared for today. With all the big issues, does the world really need another party?

Have you ever wondered why Jesus chose, as his first major public act, to produce wine for a wedding party? Why on earth did he do something so frivolous? I’ve been thinking about that, and I think Jesus is saying to all of us, “The kingdom of God is like a party…hang out with me and have some fun!”

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