Survive, Strive, or Thrive?

When I began riding my hand cycle, it was all about survival.

I didn’t try to ride well, or fast, or even better. I simply tried to get to the end of the route. It didn’t really occur to me that it might be any different. I was, after all, a quadriplegic. I was weak, I couldn’t use most of my body, and survival was about all I could expect. If I got where I was going, the ride was a success.

I think a lot of people live their lives like that. They’re just trying to get wherever they’re going, and as long as they’re reasonably upright they’re satisfied.

It took me a long time to learn that cycling, and life, didn’t have to be about survival. After a lot of years and miles of just crawling along, maintaining a minimal pace but not really trying for anything more, I discovered that riding could be about more than minimal survival.

SURVIVE TO STRIVE

I discovered I could work on technique, get stronger, and push myself even when it hurt. And it did hurt, but each time I pushed past the pain I realized it didn’t kill me. I learned I could work, I could try, and it actually felt kind of good.

I moved from surviving to striving.

I didn’t instantly ride much faster. Massive shoulders didn’t magically materialize. In fact, at first there really wasn’t much observable change in my performance, but it still felt good. And that taught me something important.

Striving involves its own intrinsic value. Even when progress proved ponderously slow, it still felt good to do something besides simply surviving. I think it’s part of the Substance Or Style discussion, the idea that the value lies more in process than in results. As soon as you focus on results, you get disappointed because it never happens fast enough.

I think striving is an important part of a substantial life. It’s okay to progress slowly, or even to fail. But to live a life of substance, you have to try. It’s got to be about more than simple survival.

SURVIVE TO STRIVE TO THRIVE

I’ve more than doubled my normal riding speed. I’m still painfully slow by regular cycling norms, but the improvement feels like thriving to me. I used to struggle to survive a ten-mile ride. This summer I’m riding 25-30 miles per day 5-6 times each week.

The point that seems important is the progression, from survive to strive to thrive. The middle step is the critical one, and in cycling and life we tend to want to skip it. But the middle step is the process, and you can’t skip it.

SOMETHING BAD HAPPENS

First, you gotta survive, take the initial blow, and get back on your feet—or, in my case, get your backside in a wheelchair. It’s painful and difficult, and it takes time. Most of us understand that part.

But then the culture messes us up, because the messages jump to results. Shake it off. Get back in the game. Just do it. Quit surviving and thrive—right now!

New diet? The weight will disappear in a few days. Beginning a workout program? You’ll have a cover-model body quickly in twenty easy minutes per day. Finances a mess? Call for our simple five-step plan to wealth, risk-free.

We want to skip the striving, the struggle, pain, and risk. We want it all, and we want it now. That’s the way it happens for everyone else, right?

I think that’s a big problem with how I pray. I ask God for the results, like He’s some cosmic gumball machine—stick in the right words, pull the handle, and out pops my wish. Except that’s not how it works.

God cares more about my character than my accomplishments, and character’s about the striving. Perhaps if I prayed for persistence and patience I’d feel a bit less like a kid sitting on Santa’s lap.

My cycling is thriving right now. It’s better than I ever imagined, and maybe I’ll write a book—FOURTEEN YEARS TO INSTANT SUCCESS!

My life’s thriving as well. Only took twenty years to figure out that I can do more than survive the ride. Finally, I learned that I can get past the pain and fear, that failure doesn’t kill me (I’m not skydiving), and that it feels good to work on stuff I enjoy, to help others, and to define success in my own terms.

I hope you’re thriving—but I hope even more that you’re striving.

What’s an area where you can shift from surviving to striving?

This material comes from the Bouncing Back archives.

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