What do you think about at 3:17 am?
You know what I mean, when you’re exhausted and you need to sleep but you can’t sleep because your brain’s stuck in overdrive and the clock by the bed has been stuck on the same time forever. What do you think about?
Will I get everything completed before we leave for the ride from Cincinnati to DC? What have I forgotten?
Oh, yeah…I need to get those extra blog posts done…and the newsletter. And the book manuscript’s due in a week. What if I can’t get it all done before we leave?
The last few days of training have really been a struggle. What if something’s wrong? What if I’m getting sick? What if I ride really badly? Will people think I’m a failure?
How will I handle the extreme heat and humidity? The first three days include nearly 8,000 feet of elevation gain. What if I can’t handle that much climbing? Was I stupid to sign up for such a challenging ride?
How will I keep up with everything, blogging and speaking and riding and team stuff? What if I can’t do it all as well as I should? Will people feel like I’m letting them down, not meeting their expectations?
What if nobody wants to hear our story? What if we ride the entire distance and and do all this work and no one pays attention?
What if I’m so busy that I forget to listen and observe? What if I miss what God’s doing around me? Will I fail Him because I don’t see the opportunities He provides?
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I’ve had a lot of these moments lately. You’re probably not preparing for a 500-mile bike ride, but I’ll bet you’ve had your own 3:17 am moments when your mind goes crazy and you’re sure you’ll never sleep again. Do you see any of the same patterns in your 3:17 am thoughts? What do you do when that happens?
I didn’t share my confused thoughts simply to complain. I’d love to hear your observations (leave a comment), and I have an idea about what these sleepless nights might be telling me.
Next time: reflections on 3:17 am.
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