Do you ever have conversations with yourself?
“What’s next?”
“What do you mean?
“Well, you’re telling us about your bike ride and describing it as a dream. What does that mean? Was it an item on your bucket list, something to accomplish and then move on to the next thing? Because it seems like a going after a dream is something more than checking an item off a list.”
“Good point. The ride began as a bucket list item, but I think it’s bigger than that now.”
“Okay, so…what’s next?”
I’ve had this recurring internal discussion for several weeks. I can shrug off or laugh my way around “What’s next?” when someone else asks. It’s tougher to deflect when it comes from myself, because myself knows I’m trying to dodge the question.
Why the self-evasion? The ride was one of the best experiences of my life. I’d love to do it again.
And that’s the problem. “Doing it again” doesn’t answer “What’s next?” God’s not about same-old-same-old. Dreams grow and change and need to be redefined, and then there’s a whole new set of challenges.
It’s about fear.
I want familiar and safe. I want to do what I know I can do. I want the appearance of risk with assured, reasonably comfortable success. I’d rather do safe small stuff than risky big stuff.
The problem, of course, is that following Jesus isn’t about safe small stuff. I can do that all by myself. Jesus says I should trust God and get beyond my comfort zone. And, frankly, I DON’T WANNA!
I suspect we have a tendency to whittle away at Jesus until He’s small enough to be reasonably comfortable. We attend church and do Bible studies and hang out with people who think and act like us. We find all sorts of things to do that look right without taking any real risks.
I fear that I make “following Jesus” a smaller thing so it’s easier and safer and fits inside my nice American life. If I make following Jesus small enough and define it narrowly enough, I can do it full-time without breaking a sweat.
I’m not sure that’s what He had in mind.
Please leave a comment.
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