What do you believe without really realizing it?
I wish the past couple of months had happened differently. I don’t like the illness, doctor visits, disappointments, inactivity, and interruptions of my carefully-constructed plans for the bike ride project.
Makes me angry. Makes me sad. Makes me frustrated, disappointed, discouraged…makes me all sorts of stuff.
Who wouldn’t be angry, right?
What to hear a hard truth? This situation doesn’t “make me” angry, or sad, or anything else. Do you know what makes me frustrated and disappointed and …?
I do. Or, more precisely, a crazy belief does.
Humans have somehow acquired one particularly troubling cultural belief: we’re supposed to be in control of everything.
It’s drilled into us as children. The message isn’t subtle or hidden: work, study, fight, manipulate—do whatever it takes to control yourself, others, and events. And I believed. I didn’t question, I believed.
So now I’m angry because this thing has happened and I can’t control it.
Guess what? My personal control over my circumstances is largely an illusion, and an extremely harmful illusion at that.
Jesus said it (Luke 11:25-26): Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life? Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest?
These past months remind me of an eternal truth: I cannot control other people, and mostly I cannot control external events. However, I am the supreme commander of me.
No one can take from me the right to control my responses.
Jesus says quietly, “You have the freedom to choose internal peace. You don’t have to fuss and worry.” I surrender that right when I react in anger or frustration or worry.
I’m free to be angry, or I’m free to be at rest. It’s not a platitude; nobody’s saying it’s easy. Choosing an attitude of calm in the midst of the storm is tough. (Mark 4:35-41)
It means choosing a different belief, knowing in your heart that God’s in control even when you can’t see or feel or understand it. Even when you don’t like it.
I want a quick fix. I want it better, I want it my way. And if I can’t have that, I at least want an explanation.
But, hard as it is to get through my thick skull, it’s not about what I want. I’m not in charge here.
I want the peace to accept that.
Where does the illusion of control cause you pain?
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