How do you get past feeling discouraged?
Right now, I don’t have a clue. Discouraged feels like a brick wall in my path. Ever been there?
Maybe for you it’s fear or hopelessness or some other emotion. How do you get past it?
What To Do?
I’ve been writing this week about my idea that worship consists of focused awareness. I’m thinking that “You shall have no other gods before me” [Exodus 20:3] means that I ought to be more focused on God, more aware of His presence, than anything else. And right now that’s certainly not true.
So here’s my take on how discouraged weaseled its way into center.
- Courage is the willingness to face fear and do what’s right.
- Encourage means increasing that ability in myself or others.
- So discourage means a decreased ability or willingness to do what’s right when I’m afraid.
Yep—that’s me. I’m up to my eyeballs in discourage. I’ve lost my willingness to keep going.
Yesterday I discussed Worship of Emotions. I’m acutely aware of feeling discouraged. I’m focused on it, allowing discouragement to define me at the moment. I’m giving it my undivided attention. So I guess I’m worshiping at the altar of discouragement.
Feeling discouraged has become my god-of-the-week.
That’s not a pleasant thing to admit.
If you were sitting here with me, you’d probably ask why I’m discouraged. I’m not sure I could explain it. It’s not like anything really horrible has happened. Just a lot of little stuff I’ve allowed to accumulate.
I don’t need a pep talk—okay, maybe I do, but that’s not the point here. How do we re-focus when a feeling—positive or negative—displaces God at the center of our world?
Attitude
It seems that this discouraged feeling is two things. One is unpleasant, the other is deadly.
Discouraged is partly a feeling. No point in denying or pretending, feelings just are what they are. You acknowledge them and do what you can to avoid being controlled by them.
And there’s the real issue, because…
…discouraged is also an attitude. And when I allow the feeling to become an all-consuming attitude, I give it priority and power until it becomes my focus. I transform it into a god.
Does that make sense?
Habits
You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds… [Ephesians 4:22-23]
Attitudes are habits. Like all habits, attitudes can either be unthinking reactions or strategic, disciplined responses. In the Bouncing Back workshop I describe five attitudes that I believe keep me focused on God.
- Abundance—a certainty that God always provides for my needs.
- Gratitude—a desire to express thanks for His abundant blessings.
- Community—valuing, nurturing, and leaning on authentic relationships with God, others, and myself.
- Control—a belief that I determine, and am responsible for, my choices and decisions.
- Service—living out God’s true purpose for me by serving.
When I nurture and practice those habits, God is more likely to be the center of my awareness. My life can be an expression of worship.
When I surrender power to fear or discouragement or whatever else the enemy tosses into my path, I look away from God. My feelings move to center stage. The enemy celebrates.
So what’s the solution?
The solution is … there’s no easy solution. No magic bullet, no secret seven-step formula to be purchased from late-night television.
Getting past this obstacle of discouragement requires “a new attitude of my mind.” That means discipline, long-term perspective, and gentleness with myself when I fail.
Sounds hard? It is. In fact, it’s impossible by myself.
Fortunately, I’m never by myself.
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