Shine

Jon Swanson at 300 Words A Day wrote an interesting article titled What Counts As Church? It’s worth checking out—some of the comments are pretty good also.

Jon basically tried to explain the essence of church once you strip away the unnecessary accessories that somehow become “church” in our minds. It’s a great reminder that, like most important things in life, it’s about relationships.

If you’ve followed Bouncing Back for a while you’ll know that I describe groups of people in terms of circles. Some people prefer “organization” or “tribe” or some other catchy term—I like the image of “circle.”

I’ve been working on some ideas about circles in preparing for a retreat, and Jon’s article prompted me to think particularly about the essence of a circle. Like churches, many circles are associated with extraneous frills.

You Don’t Need …

… secret handshakes or funny hats or binding membership contracts. Those are about exclusion and coercion, not relationship. If you have to devote energy to forcing ‘em to stay, you’re spending less time making it a great place to be.

… a building or an organizational chart or a fancy mission statement. Circles don’t need web sites, schedules, or programs. Some of that stuff might help, but many circles prosper without any of it, because circles are about relationship.

… clones who act, look, and think exactly alike. In junior high school that’s a clique. In adults it’s a cult. I’m continually amazed at this confusion between relationship and lock-step, robotic imitation. The circle becomes more dynamic and interesting when it welcomes different perspectives and ideas. Personally, I don’t want to hang out only with old bald guys in wheelchairs.

You Do Need …

… a common purpose. This doesn’t have to be formalized, because what’s written doesn’t much matter anyway. People will see the true purpose in the behavior of others. You might look here for some idea of what this blog is about, but you’ll decide to stay or leave based on the day-to-day interactions.

… a magnet. The best circles have something happening that arouses interest and makes people want to see what you’re up to. You don’t have to trick or force folks to check it out; you’re just doing what you do and it’s so cool that others want in. It’s like the chorus of the Newsboys song Shine:

shine
make ´em wonder what you´ve got
make ´em wish that they were not
on the outside looking bored

… an entrance. Circles aren’t just non-exclusive, they’re actively inclusive. They reach out and seek ways to bring in new members.

… an exit. If someone checks out your circle and decides it’s not their cup of tea, it has to be okay for them to leave.

Someone’s going to object that you’re only focusing inside your circle, and I agree. But isn’t that the only place you have any influence? Unless you intend to kidnap people, drag them into the circle, and lock the door behind them, there’s not much you can do about those on the outside.

But here’s the cool paradox— as you fuss less about those who aren’t inside and focus on making your circle a really exciting, attractive place, more people will see that there’s something worthwhile happening.

Someone recently told me that it’s about how many people get it, not about how many don’t get it. But in an interesting twist, as more people get it and get excited about it, a lot of outsiders will want to get it as well.

So instead of worrying about those who aren’t inside yet, make the circle shine so brightly that they can’t resist the attraction.

Does this make sense? Is this the way to grow the circle? What would you add?